Ah, school. Attendance. Things that just don't matter. Or things that should matter, but don't. It seems as if lately school has become a lesser priority in my life. I get good grades, I do my homework, and I score decent on tests and quizzes. But as for actually going to my classes, well, that's where I struggle. It's not like I cut class on a daily basis, in fact, all of my absences are excused for legitimate reasons. And I have struggled with illness--but now it seems like if I woke up one day coughing, that would be enough of an excused not to go to school. I have absolutely no motivation to go to school. I'm not lazy by any means, I still participate in school activities, and I spend a lot of time doing my homework, I just don't like the actual school part of school. To me, it's unneccessary. If I can miss school and still do well, what's the point in going? I never feel well, and I never want to be at school. It's cold, it's dark, it's full of people who are rude and inconsiderate. I just do not enjoy being at school for any reason.
As we are in the process of registering for next year's classes, I am continuously growing weary. I don't want to come back to this place for another year, I don't want to come back for another day. I need credits to graduate, but part of me wishes I had worked harder during the past three years and gotten enough credits to graduate at the end of my junior year. By the end of my senior year, I will easily graduate with 400 credits, I am sure to recieve a lot of academic awards, and I will be recognized for my induction into National Honor Society. Perhaps I will even gain the title of valedictorian (one can only hope). I am in no way a bad student, but just don't want to go to school anymore. I am ready to be done, and I feel as if I am done--but then I look ahead and realize I have an entire year ahead of me. People tell me that a year will go by quickly, and I agree, but I want my senior year to be different. I want to focus on bettering myself, being the best I can possibly be. I want to be homeschooled.
You know what they say, slow and steady wins the race. But I feel so close to the finish line I just want to sprint for it like the hare did. But like the hare, I get tired and give up at certain points. I know I need to take it one day at a time, but sometimes it just seems impossible to take it slow. I can only hope that once I finally do reach the finish line and recieve my diploma, I can do something I want to do. I want to travel and go to college and recieve an education. I want to recieve my bachelor's degree and go on to graduate school for my law degree, and I want to lead a successful life in law and politics. I know I can get there someday, but for now I just have to keep moving forward. I have the grades and the credits, but as for going to school I'm lacking. Let's just hope they don't look at my attendance record, or I'm screwed for a lifetime.
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