Arriving to school at 4:30 on Saturday morning, I, along with all the other members of Protégé, had no idea what to expect that day. We didn't know if we would return home Sunday morning with a grand champion trophy or if we would return home Saturday night with no trophy at all. Of course we had our ideas and doubts, all within reality of the past week. We practiced every day, most days until 9 pm or later, and all were costume rehearsals. We worked on choreography, vocals, and the band, and it felt like our show really came together this past week. That's why we were all shocked when we didn't place at all at Viterbo University's show choir competition in La Crosse, Wisconsin. As we waited for our name to be called after Linn-Mar and Praire, hoping that we had somehow finished ahead of them, all hope was lost when we realized that awards were over and our name hadn't been called. We didn't get a single chance to scream and cheer, but instead it was time to leave Viterbo with whatever fraction of our dignity left, hoping that we'd be able to hold in the tears until we made it to the bus. We had worked so hard all year since before school even started, and none of that hard work paid off in the end.
More than anything, Viterbo serves as a serious reality check for Protégé. We didn't live up to the expectations that people have of us because of years past. Protégé is a winning group. We are not a prep show choir, but nearly a varsity show choir. Our reputation is something that can be ruined in a split second, as with any reputation. Our only hope now is that we can make a come back, and keep that winning reputation. We will work hard and practice however many hours it takes to be not just good, but great. We will fix things that need to be fixed and we will turn solid things into amazing things. We are the protégé of Happiness, and that's what each and every one of us strives to be. Losing our first competition got us down for a while, but in the long run it will be helpful to us. Because it's what is giving us the fuel to work harder to be better.
On a long, thoughtful bus ride home I didn't sleep but rather I let my mind wander. I thought about how much I've said the words "I don't care" recently. I don't care that I failed a math test or I don't care that so-and-so doesn't like me. I don't care what's for dinner and I don't care enough to study for the quiz tomorrow. I don't care about the way I look today and I don't care that I ran a stop sign on the way home. It seems I don't care about anything anymore. But that's not true. I care that we lost yesterday. I care about getting better and working harder and winning competitions. I care about keeping up a winning reputation for Protégé, and I care about what audiences think about us. Because though winning isn't everything, it's a heck of a lot better than losing.
On the way home, I heard a couple of girls talking about our loss. "Sucks to suck," one of them said. And I agree, it does suck to suck, which is why we don't suck.
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