Saturday, October 15, 2011

Why I Love to Sing

Voice recitals--you either love them or you don't. I certainly don't assume that the majority of you have sung in a voice recital, but I'm sure some of you have. Basically, if you take voice lessons you have or will sing in a recital at some point. Anyway, voice recitals can be very scary for some people and I'm here to tell you to relax, because they really aren't all that bad.

I used to be so afraid of singing alone in a voice recital that I refused to take voice lessons. My parents tried to coax me into it by telling me that if I took voice lessons, they would give me this or that. My fear overpowered them--it overpowered everything. My realization for the need of voice lessons came to me at the end of my freshman year, when I tried out for show choir and didn't make it in.

This was the turning point of my singing career (not that I actually have a career in singing--not yet at least). Not being in show choir for a year really opened my eyes and made me realize that I wasn't as good as I thought I was. My parents probably would have given me the whole "I told you so" attitude, had I not been so upset. But instead they talked to me about it, and it was decided that I would take voice lessons from then on. I was willing to do anything to better myself, even if that meant I would have to sing alone in front of a live audience.

I spent nearly a year taking voice lessons before my first recital. In that year, my voice went through a series of cracks, creaks, squeals, sore throats, and much more. There were days when I sounded like a dying hyena. But the days when my voice sounded pretty--full, clear, and in tune, made up for the bad days. The good days gradually began to outnumber the bad days, and I actually started to like my singing. I would sing everywhere--at home, in the shower, and at school, under my breath. Singing became the thing I loved to do most, now that I was actually decent at it. When my teacher started talking about the recital coming up, I didn't shutter at the very thought anymore. I was almost excited...almost. And I only panicked a little when she told me that I would be closing the show, instead of having a total meltdown as I would have had a year before.

I was very nervous the night of my recital. My whole family and a few friends had come to hear me sing, and I wasn't totally sure of myself. I had worked so hard in the past year, and I knew in my heart I was ready for people to hear my beautiful singing voice, but my nerves took over everything. As I went up to the stage to begin my song, my legs shook and I thought I might faint. I couldn't bear to look at anyone in the audience, instead I just stared at the wall and began my song. The first few bars were a little shaky, but as the song went on I got more and more comfortable with what I was doing. Before I knew it, my song was over, and the audience was clapping and cheering for me. Many people, most of whom I had never met before, came up to me after the show and told me how well I did. I was proud of myself, mainly for accomplishing something that I had once swore I'd never do. I guess they mean it when they say "never say never".

I later watched a video of my performance at the recital. It was shocking to me--I actually sounded very good. I had never really taken the time to listen to myself sing before. Show choir auditions were coming up again, and this time I was confident that I would make it in. I went into the audition and gave it my all, and to everyone's surprise but my own, I was accepted into the group.

Singing in front of an audience may seem like a terrifying thing now, but once you do it you realize that it's not so bad. Looking back on my own experience I regret nothing, except perhaps doing it sooner. Maybe if I had I wouldn't have missed out on a year of show choir. Then again, I could be wrong. I guess we'll never really know.

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