Last Blog Post

This is my official last blog post. Like, after this I am done blogging for a while. It's sad, but it's also nice to be able to check one school year of blogging off of my to-do list, thus transferring it to the to-done list. So since this is my last blog post, and I have to fit at least 400 words into it, I'm going to take this time to reflect on the last nine months of blogging.

So perhaps I missed the purpose of the whole 'theme blog', in which we were supposed to choose a topic and only blog about that. For those of you who don't know, I chose music as my theme, because it was such an important part of my life. I began this blog during marching season, so all I was doing every day was conducting a marching band--in which case it totally makes sense why I would choose music. But after writing about music for a while it got boring, short attention span perhaps? Anyway, I began to write about whatever came to mind. And sometimes, that just so happened to be music, but other times I wrote about completely random things, like yoga pants, romance, books, and politics, just to name a few. At first it seemed really weird for me to be putting my thoughts out there for just anyone to read, but after a while I stopped caring what people thought. I have expressed my opinions and written about things I love and hate. People disagreed and commented, of course, but I think it's cool that I could just post whatever I wanted (without being rude or offensive, of course) and not care what people thought about it. It was just nice to get my thoughts out and put them somewhere. I'm definitely going to miss that aspect of blogging.

I think my blog sort of went from being a 'music' themed blog to being a 'complain about school and life' blog. At times, this was the only resource I had to vent to. And it did make me feel better, just to put my rants somewhere. It's been a hard year, especially school-wise, but in many ways it's also been the best year I've ever had. I've grown more in the past year than any other time in my life, and that's because I've learned to see the world differently and to look at things from a new perspective. I've prospered all year in music, and I've had the opportunity to share it with my family and friends as well as my blog-viewers (which includes my family and friends). But I think the most important thing that comes to mind when I think back on my blogging days is the way I felt every time I received a new blog view. It makes me feel special, to know that real people actually read my writing. It's been only nine months, and I have nearly 1,600 blog views. To a real, hot-shot blogger I'm sure 1,600 is nothing. But to me it means a lot, to know that my blog has been viewed 1,600 times.

It's amazing to think about how far I've come, and how far I still have to go. I have a whole entire year of high school ahead of me. I don't know yet where I'm going or who I want to be, all I know is that I love to write and I love music. It's so weird to think that in just a year from now, I will be graduating and I will know where I'm going to college and I will be planning my future. But I will still always be thinking of this blog, and how it allowed me to express myself, and how it helped define my junior year.

Perfect

It is impossible to be perfect. We try so hard to perfect our lives, yet we know we'll never reach perfection. We always want something more, and we always will. We try and buy the next big thing to perfect our lives, we try and rid ourselves of debt and worries. Yet they always come back to us, there is simply no such thing as a perfect life.

I am a perfectionist. I work so hard to make everything perfect, yet my life is far from perfect and it drives me crazy. I think that working hard and wanting so much will somehow make it happen, and it will thus improve my life that much more. But nobody has more disappointment in their life than a perfectionist, because it is so hard for us to appreciate imperfections.

I compare myself to others, simply because I can't help it. It's a subconscious thing--most the time I don't even realize I'm doing it--even though I know that it is the most harmful thing I can do to myself. The mind is a fragile place, and comparing yourself to others can destroy it. It causes a loss in self-confidence, a loss in faith, a loss in everything that is essential to flourish in an imperfect world. Perfectionists struggle with life, I know first hand. I struggle so much with accepting the fact that not everything is perfect. Not everything is going to go my way. Not everyone is going to make me happy, or make decisions in my favor. Not everyone is going to be there for me when I need them, it's just the way things are. Us perfectionists need to learn to accept the things that don't work well in life, the things that don't go our way, the things that we can't control.

We perfectionists are self-sufficient, or at least we like to think that. We say we don't need anyone, we are independent, because we like to think that we don't need anyone to get through. We strive to be perfect all on our own--anyone else might just get in the way of our goals. But in reality, we need others. We are just as weak as we are strong and though we may not admit it, we cannot make it through life on our own. We may like to always be right, or to always look at the downside of things. We may be a little pessimistic because not everything is perfect, but that doesn't mean we don't need people. We need support just as much as the next person.

The truth is, being a part of something bigger than ourselves is the closest thing to perfection we are ever going to get. One person cannot achieve perfection alone, but multiple people bound together can achieve as much as possible. Nobody's perfect, perfectionists perhaps being the least perfect of all. Truly, though perfection cannot be achieved by anyone, much less can be achieved alone.

Last Week of Blogging. Bittersweet?

I don't think I've mentioned this yet, but yes, this is my last week of blogging. So like, after Sunday I will no longer be blogging each week. However, I hope to return to my blog every now and then just for fun. So don't stop reading, kiddos!

I'm sad about this--hopefully you are too. My blog has been an extreme part of my junior year, and most importantly it served as my venting tool when I had nothing else. It has also transformed me as a writer, because I was forced to write three times every week, which helped me grow both as a responsible person and a responsible writer. But most of all, I will miss feeling like a blogger, and being able to say "Hey, go check out my blog!" Yup.

But I'm also sort of glad that it's over. Being done with blogging sort of symbolizes the end of my junior year and the start of summer. I've been a blogger for nine months, and now it's time to take a break and start living life again, and not worry about documenting every minute of it.

So, I will be posting two or three more blogs, and then I will only post every now in then instead of weekly. I will miss it, and my awesome blog-readers, but it's all good :) Just wanted to take this time to say a quick goodbye!

You're Welcome.

Just Stuff

Okay, so I'm going to do one of those "random" posts--mostly because I can't really think of a specific topic to write about. So here's what's new.

Noodles and Company. Recently, I have become a huge fan of this semi-fast-food restaurant. I, being the picky eater that I am, can go there and order a nice bowl of mac n' cheese, and guess what! They don't look at you funny if you order mac n' cheese there! It's actually considered normal. Apparently, mac n' cheese is their best seller. Not to mention that it's absolutely delicious!

Just look at that! Image provided by Google Images.

Graduation. I'm not graduating this year (sigh) but sadly, most of my friends are. I've attended every graduation for the past three years. Why, you ask? Well 8th grade, my brother graduated. Ever since, I've had to play in the band and sing in the choir for graduation and sophomore year, my sister graduated. So I've been to a total of, wait for it, four graduations. And trust me, graduation ceremonies at my school take FOREVER. The other thing that sucks about graduation is that our band plays the same songs. And the choir sings the same songs. Year after year. Days of Glory, Battle Hymn, and of course the signature graduation song, Pomp and Circumstance. Yeah yeah, tradition and all, but can we please play at least one new song? Sigh. Not a chance.

Results. So I've talked extensively about show choir auditions, callbacks, etc. and so on. Well it's all over now, as we just finished dance auditions last week. Now the fun part (sarcasm, of course) is waiting. Waiting for the show choir/choir lists to be posted, as well as getting callbacks for our more elite groups, like jazz choir and chamber choir. Waiting has to be the worst part of the entire process, because you know that you've done all that you can do, and every single day someone is considering you for their group. Ughhhhhhhh.

Banquets. This week, we have both our choir and band banquets. The banquet is when we go and have a catered dinner (usually provided by HyVee) and then we get awards for doing things. Unfortunately, I didn't gain enough points to get a band letter this year, but I'm only ten points away. Extreme Ugh. But eh, I'll get over it. We also get rewarded for the different groups we participated it--like show choir combo, marching band, and for choir jazz choir, and show choir and stuff. It's actually not so bad. And we get to dress up, so I suppose that's a plus.

AP Tests. Okay, so I've also talked (Or rather, complained) extensively about AP classes/tests. Well, they're finally here, and actually half over. I had my first AP test on Friday (US History, get at me) and I thought it was completely easy. However, the test I have on Wednesday, which is for this class (AP Language and Composition) will not be quite so easy. I know this because we have done very little to prepare in class. I'm not worried about the essays, but the multiple choice, well, kill me now. Must I exclaim again--Ughhhhhhhh.

Illness. For the past week or so, I have been sick. It's been awful. I feel like I've spent more time during my junior year being sick rather than healthy. I really wish I had a stronger immune system. I can't sing, I've been hacking for days, and I ache all the time...must I ask, why me? Why now? I finish yet again with an Ughhhhhhhh.

Voice Recitals. I am now preparing for my second voice recital, in which I will be singing both a solo and a duet. Being sick and all, I showed up at my lesson this week, and yes, I was sent home. I couldn't sing a note--how embarrassing. However, I know my music and am fairly confident that I will do alright in the recital. And that's really all I can ask for. 

Weather. On a positive note, the weather has been absolutely fantastic. It's been in the perfect temperature range--low 70's and sunny. My boyfriend and I have spent quite a great deal of time at the park in the last few days, just enjoying the sunshine and each other's company.

And that, my friends, is all. Have a great week.

A Tribute to Moms

We've seen flowers and cards in stores, advertisements on TV, and our mom has reminded us every day for the past two weeks that yes, today is Mother's Day. Whether you ordered your mom a gift three months ago or picked it up at the store yesterday, any gift is meant to show your mom how much you love her and appreciate her. I mean seriously, without our moms we wouldn't be here. So give thanks to your mom, today and every day.

Image provided by Google Images.

Today, my mom and I went and got pedicures. Though a pedicure is just something simple, it was nice to spend some time with my mom. Later, we're having dinner with my grandparents, another nice family thing. After all, Mother's Day is not just for celebrating moms--it's for celebrating all the women in our life. In fact, being pro-women and all, women are simply amazing. Think about it: we can multi-task like no man can, we can do pretty much anything a man can do, only ten times better. And we can look good while doing it. What can you do?

Stop and think, what have our moms done for us? To start off, they gave birth to us. That in itself should be immensely rewarded. They changed our diapers and fed us when we needed to be fed. They held our hands we when crossed the street and supported us in everything we did, whether it was writing our name or playing a part in the school play. They taught us life skills, like communication and caring, all while being there for us when we needed a shoulder to cry on. They gave us money when we wanted to go to the movies or to the mall, and before we were 16, they drove us there with our friends. Though it may seem like all they ever do is get in the way, or stop us from doing what we want, it's true that mothers know best. All they want is to see us succeed, no matter what we do.

As we get older, and go on to college we begin to realize just how important our moms really are. We will no longer have someone to make us chicken noodle soup when we're sick or do our laundry when we're too tired to do it ourselves. We won't have anyone there to advise us in sticky situations, or make our favorite food when friends come over. Sure, we'll be growing and learning how to take care of ourselves and becoming independent, but there will always be that part of us that needs our mom, the amazing woman who led us, protected us, nurtured us, and cared for us through life for the past 18 years, and who will continue to do so forever.

The other side of the beautiful month of May

We are now well into the month of May, which means AP tests, finals, show choir results (from both last month's vocal auditions and this month's dance auditions), final concerts, drum major auditions, graduation, graduation parties, etc. and so on. May is perhaps the busiest month of the year. Though not nearly as busy as deep show choir season in the middle of February, it seems just as bad because of the changing attitudes. All I want right now is to be out of school and relaxing outside, but instead I have finals to study for, music to practice, AP tests to prepare for, plus work and my social life on the side. It's hectic, especially when it seems so much easier to spend an afternoon lounging in the backyard. Then, of course, the wasted time must be made up somehow, leading into late nights of AP U.S. History and physics. I'm not lazy, just completely unmotivated at this time of year. I'm searching to find something that will keep me going for just another month, but I'm so tired of school that it seems impossible to go for yet another day.

Image provided by Google Images.

Stress goes back to the "slower-paced life" debate--the argument that life would be much simpler at a slower pace. Time is simply a measurement of actions, and humans strive to accomplish the most in the shortest amount of time. If we slowed our pace of life, and got rid of the "right-here-right-now" attitude, it is not that we would live longer, but we certainly would live fuller. It's simply too impossible to cope with little sleep, rushing around, overscheduling, massive amounts of homework, while still having to maintain a healthy diet and fitness, healthy relationships, healthy grades, all while trying to get accepted into college and do our best at everything. If we just reduced the amount of things we had to do, we could still do things well, while sacrificing the impossible.

Image provided by Google Images.

So while we save the fiesta (Spanish for "party") for summer, we can still reduce our stress now by having a siesta (Spanish for "rest"). To me, sleep and staying healthy is more important than spending countless hours studying for tests. Yes, it is important to study, and yes, it would be much easier if we had more time on our hands. But that's the problem with our high-industrialized, high-maintenance, fast-paced society. We have too much to do and too little time to do it. So yes, we should study for those oh-so-important AP exams, but what we shouldn't do is overstudy. We shouldn't sacrifice schoolwork for sleep and health. I get on average 5-6 hours of sleep each night, which is about 3-4 hours less than what I should be getting. Am I happy with this? Absolutely not. Do I feel like a zombie most of the time? Why yes I do. My sleep patterns are not healthy at all, but why do I lack sleep so much? School. School, school, and more school.

According to the National Sleep Foundation, teens need at least 9 1/4 hours of sleep each night, which is not even close to what I and most other teens actually get. I would say that I'm more on the extreme end, but I know others who get about the same amount of sleep as me each night too. Researchers say that if teens don't get as much sleep as their body needs, they suffer the ability to learn well and to concentrate, as well as memory loss. I certainly notice these symptoms in myself.

So at this point, when we sacrifice sleep for studying, working, and other school activities going on at this busy time of year, we tend to do worse on AP exams because we can't concentrate and focus anyway. So let's all do ourselves a favor, and just sleep a little.

Sundays.

It seems like every time Sunday night comes around, I have not gotten an ounce of homework done, I've not cleaned my room or done my laundry, I've not gotten a sufficient amount of sleep, and I have to work. Sigh, welcome to my life. Literally, I'm sitting here, scheduled to work in an hour, and my room is an absolute disaster. Piles of laundry sit sorted on the floor of my closet, unwashed, while piles of undone homework sit piled high on my desk, next to my laptop. My bed is unmade, my room unclean, everything out of order. And I have to return to school in 12 hours.

Not to mention that Sundays are the most depressing day of the week. It's the day that's made for homework and catching up on stuff, and then if you're like me and procrastinate until it ends up not getting done, it's even more depressing. Then, if you're also like me, you end up working until 11 PM on a Sunday night, when Mondays are hard enough without staying up late. It's like ugh, is there anything more than this?

I'll admit it, I'm depressed today. Perhaps because my weekend was much less than fulfilling, or perhaps my to-do list is longer today than it was on Friday. Either way, I have no motivation to do anything, yet I have so much to do. Ugh, sundays.

Glad You Came

Man, this song has been stuck in my head all day long.
So I had to post it, of course.

Lyrics:

The sun goes down
The stars come out
And all that counts
Is here and now
My universe will never be the same
I'm glad you came

You cast a spell on me, spell on me
You hit me like the sky fell on me, fell on me
And I decided you look well on me, well on me
So let's go somewhere no-one else can see, you and me

Turn the lights out now
Now I'll take you by the hand
Hand you another drink
Drink it if you can
Can you spend a little time,
Time is slipping away,
Away from us so stay,
Stay with me I can make,
Make you glad you came

The sun goes down
The stars come out
And all that counts
Is here and now
My universe will never be the same
I'm glad you came
I'm glad you came

You cast a spell on me, spell on me
You hit me like the sky fell on me, fell on me
And I decided you look well on me, well on me
So let's go somewhere no-one else can see, you and me

Turn the lights out now
Now I'll take you by the hand
Hand you another drink
Drink it if you can
Can you spend a little time,
Time is slipping away,
Away from us so stay,
Stay with me I can make,
Make you glad you came

The sun goes down
The stars come out
And all that counts
Is here and now
My universe will never be the same
I'm glad you came
I'm glad you came

I'm glad you came
So glad you came
I'm glad you came
I'm glad you came

The sun goes down
The stars come out
And all that counts
Is here and now
My universe will never be the same
I'm glad you came
I'm glad you came

And of course, the Glee version: